How often when someone compliments you on how you look or how well you have done at something do you find yourself diminishing the compliment by saying things like “oh this old thing, it was nothing, my hair needs washing” or thinking ‘they don’t mean it, I don’t deserve it, they are wrong I am so stupid’ ?

Being unable to accept compliments comes from lack of self esteem and value of self, the feeling of being undeserving.  Compliments can trigger our defence mechanisms and limiting believes.

Many people with low self esteem will do any thing not to upset or let down others, often finding it very hard to say no.  But when you reject or diminish a compliment it is like rejecting a gift, throwing it back into the face of the giver.

Practice just saying “THANK YOU” on receiving a compliment.

Be aware of saying “thank you” to quickly as that can also act as a deflector and means that you have not let the compliment land.  So pause, breath and let the compliment in, even if you don’t believe it, before responding.

Keep practicing and it will help you improve your self esteem.  It is very rare that someone will compliment you with an untruth.

Post your comments below. Thanks.

Pam Lob

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