Communication is a vital part of our everyday lives, but how often is it done truthfully and authentically?

A large amount of what we hear on a daily basis is information from someone who thinks we should hear about the latest gizmo, or be told how we should behave so we knew what is good for us.  This type of communication feels incongruent and can leave us feeling angry, put upon or manipulated.

Another frequently used form of communication is the ‘you statement’ e.g you didn’t put the rubbish out againyou never listen to me or you never ask if you could help.  ‘You’ statements’ nearly always come from a place of blame or judgment and can quite easily insight an argument.

Instead use ‘I’ statements’. Own what you are feeling and wanting and life suddenly feels far less stressful.

Done well communication can support, enlighten, inspire and nurture.

It’s possible to hear the same words from 2 different people and one leaves you feeling inspired and the other despondent.

Why is this?

Communication is not just about the words that come out of our mouth, but also our body language and whether we are sharing from our heart.  If we don’t believe in what we are saying our body language gives it away and it’s not possible to share from the heart, so the words sound flatter and the listener is left with a feeling of mismatch between the message and delivery, which feels uncomfortable.

When you communicate from your heart, it feels real, trusting and relaxing and allows the listener to be fully present.  This allows the listener to feel the speaker as well as hear them and in turn lets the speaker feel the listener is fully present for them.  To communicate from your heart, place your awareness on your heart space, and share from a feeling of love and compassion for the person you are speaking to.

Pam Lob

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